weight loss tracker

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Always designing & dieting

Monday, July 27, 2009

It's baaaaaaaack....

It is going to be hard. VERY, VERY hard...

to keep this weight OFF.  You thought I was going to say to lose this weight, didnt ya? 

No, I am learning just how hard it is to keep this weight off. I am FAR from my end goal. But I have lost 30 pounds- or I should say "had" lost 30 pounds. Now I am finding out what everyone has always said, Losing the weight is half the battle... keeping it off.... now that is another story.

I have officially gained 8 pounds of my weight back. I am embarrassed and a little ashamed. I've been telling people that I wasnt losing- I was "maintaining".  But when I went to my WW meeting Sunday I realized, "Holy Shit! This weight can come back... quickly." And here I am back up into the 170's again....*sigh*.

Sunday's WW meeting was bittersweet. When I learned I had gained this week, I felt defeated. Upset. In fact, I hate to say it I was annoyed. I was irritated at the poor girl next to me who was celebrating losing 99.2 pounds. I hate that I was annoyed- but quite frankly I didn't want to hear it. I was upset at myself and I didn't want to celebrate for anyone. 

Despite being in a funky mood, I sat there and listened to the leaders advice. Which luckily was a message that hit home... it was about dieting. She re-iterated that this plan is not a DIET. It is a way of life, we are being prepared for the life we will have and the "rules" we will follow when we finally hit our goal. The leader said something that struck a chord - When you become a lifetime member you will earn a few extra points--- that's it. Just because you become lifetime does not mean you can eat like a horse again. 

I dont know what to say except that it scared me a bit... I dont know what to do with this new realization. It pisses me off... I love to eat... now I have to eat healthy FOREVER... that is, if I dont want to gain the weight back.

I always knew it... but now... I have to accept it.

See you lighter