Day 46: That evil shrimp wrap

Ugh, today was a tough one. I swear I had the best intentions when I went to Applebees for lunch. I mean, how many calories could that shrimp wrap really have anyway??? I figured It wasnt the best choice, but I didnt think it would be... 850 calories! SHIT! Eight hundred and fifty fricken 'calories! What did they put in that thing? Lard? It was good yes, but worth over half of my daily calories - definately not. You can probably guess how the rest of the day turned out. I guess you live and you learn.

Part of the problem was I was hungry when I walked in and everything on that damn menu looked delicious!

It's times like these that I miss my special "pills". I know it sounds terrible but I really miss the control I had when I took them and the fact that I hardly ever experienced hunger. Sigh. I guess all good things have to come to an end.

Sometimes I wonder if I am going to be able to take these last 15 pounds off by myself. I wouldn't say I was addicted to the pills but I had such amazing control and THAT feeling was addicting. I could eat a dry salad for lunch and feel completely satisfied. I never thought about food. I mean its not like I've gone back to my old ways completely but sometimes it scares me that I get so hungry. I really don't want to gain this weight back.

At least tomorrow is a new day.

-L

Ps- to the reader who asked yesterday: It's Bontril

Let's try this again....

No, I did not fall off the end of the earth- or off the weight loss wagon either. In fact, I have actually been doing pretty well since my last post. I am now down to my lowest weight since 2002! 146 pounds! I have lost a total of 50 pounds in the past 2 years and 3 months- and about 25 of those pounds in the last 4 months.

Maybe I took the easy way out.

Yes, I will admit it. I've had a little help from my doctor. She gave me something to make it ALOT easier to follow my diet. I know some might consider it cheating. But I'm okay with that, because I would do it over again in a second. The medication she gave me was only to be taken for a short period of time and unfortunately, since my body built up a tolerance to it by the end of the prescription it was loosing it's effect.

Now, I have 45 days until my 31rst birthday and i am still 15 pounds from my goal.

I am on my own again- no doctor's prescription.

I am back to Weight Watchers and back to working out again.

And I am back to daily journaling.

I can hit my goal.

So, now I just have to figure out a new way to stay motivated to do it.

So... back to the tried and true.



See ya tomorrow & See ya lighter ; )