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Monday, August 31, 2009

Day 45: I got an A-!

I was feeling a little "stuck" today about the weight situation and I figure I need to get over the 164 pound hump that I have been squatting on for the past 4+ months. I've gone up and down- but never over!!! I can't wait to see those three little numbers 1- 5- 9. I feel like I have been in the 160's forever. So I have decided to take the route of a friend who is counting calories. Just to see if I can tighten up my dieting a little bit. I've become a little "loosey-goosey" with my point tracking. So I decided to get strict. I am still going to track- and do weight watchers, now I'm 
just going to monitor it a bit closer.

So, today I joined an online calorie counter:  http://caloriecount.about.com. It is great! I actually enjoyed creating my own little profile and typing in my food diary. But I am shocked!!! WOW! I forgot how many calories things have and I have been completely neglecting my BLT's (Bites, Licks, Tastes) and they have been adding up- to hundreds of calories!!! (and points) 

Another great thing about this site is it gives you a nutritional report of your daily intake in a nice little pie graph— it even tells you what percentage of fats, carbs, proteins, sugar, etc.  you have consumed. Now I can SEE how much of that damn sodium I've been taking in.  Best of all it gives you a grade for your efforts- and I'm happy to report today's grade was an A-! 

-See ya lighter!!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Day 46: Sodium SUX!

I almost didn't go to today's WW meeting. I knew I gained and I REALLY didn't want to face the scale. Why is it that I will weigh myself on my own scale everyday- you cant keep me off it- but the scale at WW is so scary??? Especially since I didn't think last weeks behavior warranted a 2 pound gain. Maybe .5 or something but 2 pounds- how depressing!!

I decided to go- because I wanted to talk to my leader and try to get her advice. She thinks I am retaining water (that is why I feel so bloated). She suggested I lay off the frozen meals and other highly processed- high sodium foods. She also said I should be eating more fruits and veggies and more lean protein. 

I am glad I went, just so I have some direction for this week. However the first road block to the week was a BBQ over at @WeightDummy's. I have to give her major kudos for providing some healthier options- like veggies & baked chips and watermelon, and Nature's Own rolls. I brought my WW Key Lime Pie and some deviled eggs with light mayo. But social situations are my downfall. I have a really hard time controlling myself.

I think I did okay though I avoided alcohol and just sipped on my water bottle. I also tried to stick with the lighter stuff. The whole day I tried my best to stay away from Sodium- even though I gave in to some of the baked chips. All-in all I have to give myself a small pat on the back, because I practiced restraint- especially in the face of delicious CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES— which the Fiance ate at least 5 or 6 of in front of me.

I guess even though I wasn't perfect I've come along way- I was still able to enjoy myself and not feel intimidated by food! What a realization!

See ya lighter!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Day 47: Rest, Recuperation & RE-HYDRATION!

Ugh... I'm hurtn' this morning, oh wait... afternoon. Too many of my homemade cocktails... if you read yesterday's post... you know what I'm up against today. 

Anyway, I am trying to bounce back with a stress-free, relaxing, rehabilitating day. I am eating simple, I need to re-hydrate and reverse the damage on the scale today.  So I am eating lots of veggies, fruit smoothies and soup. AND DRINKING LOADS OF WATER. Hopefully tonight I will be ready for some exercise. 

While recuperating I've been catching up on one of my favorite shows, What Not To Wear on TLC. I can totally relate to the people that are on that show. Especially today. The woman fought Stacey & Clinton every step of the way. She was so unhappy with her body that she couldn't enjoy the actual make over. Every time they told her she was beautiful you could tell that she did not believe them. It was when she said " I feel like I don't deserve it" — that was the moment I could relate to.

 Most of the contestants on this show have given up on their bodies- their selves. They are perfectly content walking around wearing something that resembles a garbage bag.  As always, when the makeover was done she looked 150x better. But she couldn't recognize it because she was so focused on her body and her flaws.

So many times we as overweight people hide in our clothes. We know we could look SO much better in nicer clothes that fit our bodies. Even some makeup & a sexy haircut- these are all things that we deserve- just as much as thin girls. Why do we allow ourselves to "zombie" through our lives or hide in plain clothes?

For six years my idea of dressing up was the black cotton tee shirt I bought from Wal-Mart. I hardly wore make-up and never tried to cover my frequent break outs. I let my roots grow and hadn't been to the stylist in years. Why did I let myself go for so long? 

Lately, things have changed. I like dressing up, I allow myself those pleasures. Yes, the weight loss has given me the push to make a change. But I wonder why I didnt do it sooner... maybe if I felt beautiful I would have felt confident enough to lose the weight sooner.

Girls, it's time!  It's time to focus on us. We need to treat ourselves like the princess we are. We can still be overweight and look good. Who knows? It may be the confidence shift we need to say we are worth it- we CAN stick to healthy eating. We ARE proud of ourselves!

See you lighter!

Friday, August 28, 2009

day 48LI amake bad decisons when i drink

I make bad food decizxions when I drink. Getting drunk = eating steak drecnched in butter and ice cream on apple pie. OOO boy- i think maybe i should not drink & diets.

good nightn.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 49: Mind over Sushi

Today I got paid. Today I went out to eat twice.

Those two sentences pretty much sum it up. I tried- I really tried to be good. And for the most part I was, but probably not good enough for someone who is trying to lose weight.

First up  - lunch at Chiptole- a dieter's nightmare. I swear you can just breathe-in the calories there. Before we left I glanced at Dottie's Weight Loss Zone to get an idea of what I should order (a great site btw). I ended up ordering three chicken soft tacos (10 pts) with lettuce and tomatoes- no cheese. That's not bad right? Then I had 7 chips & guacamole (5pts)- I could have done without those.

Next up- sushi for dinner. We went to a place we had never been before, it is actually in the same plaza as my weight watchers meeting. I picked that place b/c I figured it would be a good reminder for me to be good. Just knowing that I was yards away from that scale reinforced the fact that I could not go "hog wild". I ended up eating 2.5 rolls and edamame- probably more than I should have.  But, I think back to before I was on WW and how I use to shovel away those rolls faster than the waitress could put them down. It wasn't uncommon for the Fiance and I to order all-you-can-eat and then eat until we exploded. Not once did I think about how many calories we were ingesting AND we did this once a week.

Today was the first time we had been out for sushi in months.

Even though I am a bit unhappy that I ate as much as I did, I still felt in control— And that I feel reeeeeeeeally happy about.

See ya lighter- oh here's Dottie's web page- check it out- it has helped me in a pinch!

- Losin

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Day 50: It's gonna be one of those weeks...

Its gonna be one of those weeks where I try my ass off and I don't lose weight. Or worse :I GAIN. I don't know why, I just feel it. I feel like no matter what I do, I am not going to lose.  

I am beyond disappointed in the scale- I have officially vowed not to step one foot on it until Sunday morning. I might as well only feel depressed once more the rest of this week. I am just gonna trudge forward and hold out hope that a miracle will happen.

See ya lighter.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Day 50: I hate my f*ck&ng scale

I really do. I am tired of weighing myself and it not reflecting my hard work!

Lately, I have been doing really well. But it isn't showing up! Its frustrating! Maybe it's broken- seriously- sometimes i'll step on it three times in a row and it will say something different 165.6 then 165.8 the the 165.4.... ugh!!!!!!!!! I'm eating better this week then last- and my WI on Sunday was 164.2- SO WHAT IS GOING ON?! Even last week, my weight loss didn't show up until I went to WW and weighed in on their scale.

I'm just a little irritated can you tell?

Dont get me wrong, I am proud of my efforts. Today I went high protein and low carb (except for a couple Sunchips) I ate fruit, veggies and protein all day. Yesterday I ran and did surprisingly well in fact, I made it the whole 3 miles! I only stopped once for about 20 seconds. I felt surprisingly... good. I really cant believe I made it. 

But even with all these good accomplishments I keep thinking about that damn scale. 

Metal Monster- why doth thou hold such power over me? *sigh*


Monday, August 24, 2009

Day 51: I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllly dont want to

Right now I am trying to convince myself to go for a run. It has been months since I've run last...

The Vegas heat is way too intense for me to even think about running my fat ass around outside, even at night it is horrendous. But tonight I don't have much of an excuse, it's a "cool" 90 degrees and ... and I just dont have any excuses left! But oh, it gonna be hard.*WHAHHHHH!!!!!*  It's gonna be like when I started running for the first time back in March. REALLY HARD. I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllly dont want to. But I have to. No more excuses!!!! You guys have no idea. I am serious- I am really, really, really dreading doing this.

okay *SIGH*  here I go... See ya lighter.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Day 52: I found my hip bone!

It's true! I found it! It's there! It's still covered with a nice thick layer of fat, BUT when I lay down on my side I can feel it! In fact, I've noticed my hips & midsection in general are slimmer!
And I am sure the fiance noticed too... because when he crawled into bed he put his arm around me, touched my hip and said he noticed I was loosing weight.... RAWRRR!

My suspicion was confirmed at today's meeting where I lost 1.8 pounds!!! Even better I finally shed all the weight I gained PLUS .6 - which means ... I CAN FINALLY CHANGE THE TICKER AT THE TOP OF MY PAGE!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! After several months of stalling I can finally say I am loosing again!!! WOOOHOO! Let's celebrate!!!!  Just not with food- unless of course we are talking about the foods on my new blog: Foods to DIE-t for!!! 

What do you think of the name? It is my new blog about products and diet foods I have come across along this journey. Please stop by I would love to hear your feedback about my brand new blog!! http://foodstodietfor.blogspot.com/

Thanks for reading! 
See ya lighter!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Day 53: Is it possible to have a big loss this far into the plan?

I am nervous about tomorrow's WI... I have been pretty good all day. I cant believe I went to Wendy's and ordered only a potato and small chili (10 points) I was soooo tempted to order their new boneless chicken wings with bbq sauce. It was really hard! I just kept imagining my mouth exploding with enjoyment as I tasted those tasty little nuggets of fat.... yummm.... Im still picturing it.

But the thought of facing that metal monster at WW tomorrow kept me from straying to the dark side. I am so nervous about weighing in. I hope, I pray that I lose 2 pounds. Thats what I am really hoping for...

Which leads me to the question of the night... Is it possible to have a big loss this far into the plan?

I haven't lost 5 pounds since the first week of WW. I usually lose 1 - 2 pounds on a good week (and I m not complaining) 
but never anything more than 3. I know it is healthy to lose up to 2 pounds a week & no more...yada ya. But I want to know if its possible. If I just excercised more, drank more water, ate less carbs. 
could I accomplish a 5 pound week?

I'd like to know... Have you ever lost as much as your first week on the plan?

See ya lighter-- hopefully!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Day: 54 Can I tell you something that has helped me?

I figured I have a few minutes, might as well do my daily posting. I cant believe I have been doing this for ten days straight! I am amazed and pleasantly surprised to say it has really helped me jump back on the wagon. These daily affirmations remind me to try my hardest as these days are dwindling down to my birthday.

So, I stepped on the scale today and was happy with the new number- 165.4! Im getting close to where I was when I started slipping-- within 1 pound away. I feel accomplished. I have managed to shed about 7 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Not bad. And hopefully Sunday's WI will show another loss.

Can I tell you  something that has helped me? Every night I try to plan what I am going to eat the next day in my tracker. I write it in pencil and then write the actual food I ingest the next day with pen. Even if I don't stick with my original plan it helps get my brain focused on healthy eating the next day. I always plan my meals so I have 3-4 extra points per day. (Just because I know the chocolate monster will strike... or potato chip monster or ice cream monster, or...)

Anyway- You guys should all try it- it works!

See Ya'll lighter tomorrow!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Day:55 Good dieting, Bad evening

thats all- I don't really want to talk about it.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Day 56: Something interesting happened

Something interesting happened today- It was an easy dieting day! I wasn't that hungry and I'm even below my points for the day! I wasn't really tempted either. I wish that was the case everyday. 

PLUS its early enough that I can go workout and still make it back home before 9!

I am feeling so good & so motivated - I finally feel like I am back in the groove.

I am enjoying living healthy again. I am enjoying it so much that I am thinking of starting a brand new blog dedicated to the awesome new "diet" foods/products I am discovering.

So, stay tuned as I will be starting that soon...

See you lighter... I'm off to the gym, that elliptical is calling my name!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Day 57: Everybody loves a quickie!

I gotta tell you guys I'm exhausted, tonight. So... short update... did awesome on the plan.  I'm only "up" by 3.5 points. So, Im taking the night off & not going to do any exercise...
I am going to take a much needed rest and go to bed early tonight!
PS- Thanks to Dieting*Dancer at Confessions of a Dieting Dancer for an awesome award! MUAH!!!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Day 58: Oh how quick the tides can turn!

I dont know how it happens.

I can go through my whole day with confidence. I'll eat a sensible breakfast, lunch and snack. I'll hold my head high (most of the time) as I pass by the doughnuts, cookies and other unmentionables tempting me at work. All day long I give myself reassuring comments like, "you're doing great" You'll have this weight off in no time", "I bet you will lose 3 pounds this week." ***sigh***

All day long I am solid. Then from out of nowhere I find myself hovering over a mountain of pizza slices, shoveling away. And I'm doing it mindlessly. Like I forgot the past 10 hours of self- pep talks...

Why oh why did I think it was okay to go to Ci-Ci's pizza buffet without a game-plan??!!! I was only going to try their 1 pt. WW pizza! But I ended up trying everything on the menu- including 3 slices of the WW variety. I just kept eating thinking - "oh, these are small slices... they wont have many points at all". Let me tell you those small pieces add up- to 8 slices! 

I am having serious eating remorse. I need to have a plan when I go out in these situations.... Grooooooooan...

I better go... if anyone needs me I will be spending the rest of the night on the elliptical.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Day 59: WW weigh in today

So guess what! I am happy to report that I went to WW this morning and found out that I lost 1.8 pounds this week! 166!

Wow, all that worrying yesterday was for nothing! Well, I guess maybe not for nothing- it forced me to be super good yesterday. So, I guess that it all worked out! Now, I just need to keep that momentum up this week and hopeful I will have another loss next Sunday.

We went to the movies tonight- to see The Time Travelers Wife. I cant believe the fiance agreed to that one, isnt he sweet? Anyway, we smuggled our own "healthier" snacks into the movie theater. Have you ever checked the points on movie theater popcorn? Wowsers!

I usually pop up my own WW bag of popcorn ( I think it's the Healthy Choice one) and sneak it in the biggest, ugliest purse I own.  I look like a dang bag lady and I'm sure all the people around us think we are incredibly cheap. But I don't care! 

I enjoyed my 1 pt. per-serving popcorn and cried my little eyes out... enjoying every minute.

HOWEVER, now I have to go do some exercise- to walk off the Yogurtland yogurt we indulged in AFTER the movie (cue eyeroll). 

Hey, I can't be good all the time!


Saturday, August 15, 2009

DAY 60: One step forward, two steps back.

I shouldn't have. But I did.

I weighed myself this morning- and then AGAIN after 35 min on the elliptical.

Both times I wanted to bitch-slap that piece of shit.

So, the damage from last nights dinner party appeared on the scale. Sometimes I feel like its one step forward, two steps back.  I mean how could 4 days of healthy eating be completely sabotaged by one big meal? This is why I should NOT weigh myself everyday! But it is really hard not too.

Today, I am trying to take it easy- juice & honeydew for b-feast &  6" chk sub for lunch w/a 1/2 bag of chips. Plus I did 35 min. on the elliptical. 

UGH!!!! I'm so F*CKING sick of the up & down shit. I just hope that when I go to WW tomorrow it will show some improvement from last week. Cause right now, I dont know if it will.

Todays weigh (after elliptical) 167.4

Damn- I hope I see you lighter tomorrow...

Friday, August 14, 2009

Day 61: The Dinner Party

What can I say? It was a dinner party and I have a difficult time controlling myself at these kind of events. I tried a few methods- always have a glass of water in your hand/distance yourself from the food/ dont drink any alcohol. They all helped to some degree. But this is hard for me and I struggle with it. While I saw some improvement in my behavior it was a struggle, and Im sure I went way over my points today.

It's a shame too... cause the scale was down again this morning -166.4. Now.... tomorrow, who knows. Whats worse, I didn't even get to excercise.

I guess today could have been worse,  I will just have to try super hard tomorrow.

Hope you see me lighter tomorrow!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Day 62: I've discovered that

 if you put your food down (all the way on the plate), after each bite, you will eat so much slower! I tried this yesterday when we went to Subway. I ordered a 6in. and The fiance ordered a foot long sub (normally I can eat a foot long- no problem). I practiced my "put-down" method and was shocked that he actually finished before me. Normally i am done way before him and I end up chowing on his food. The method worked so well, that I tried it with pizza today. He got 2 slices, I got one. Worked again-He was done before me.  PLUS I end up getting full a lot quicker!

So I'm going to keep trying this method....

All-in-all I did well today. I am really trying to convince myself to do some shredding.... but I reeeeeeeally dont want to...... but I am have to..... even if its for only for 5 minutes.

A little nervous about tomorrow's dinner party. I am trying to rehearse the scenario in my mind. I have a feeling I will end up having a few drinks and all hell will break loose and I'll start consuming calories at an obscene rate. Pray for me!

Oh the scale showed some movement- 166.8 today!

So... I'll see you lighter on Day 61!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Day 63: A birthday Present to myself

Okay- as promised, here I am!!  AND I'm happy to report a good day! Good eating & good exercise! I would give myself a solid "A". 

I will admit, it was SO hard to workout tonight. I had to really dig deep. But it was looming over me... so drudgingly I threw in the 30 day Shred and got on with it. It was awful, I hated it, I'm not gonna lie, it sucked. I almost didn't finish it. My arms hurt so flipping bad that I cant even raise them above my head. But I am really glad I did it. 

I think writing everyday is going to be a huge motivator for me, because it keeps me accountable and reminds me of every dwindling day closer I am to my birthday- goal date! BUT what better way to reward myself on my birthday than to shed another 20+ pounds? I really thought about that a lot today. What better present can I give myself than a brand new body to celebrate in Costa Rica with! I really cant think of something I would want more than that! I just keep imagining giving myself a huge 25 pound package of fat all wrapped up in a beautiful box with a giant pink bow. Completely disgusting. Completely effective.

Until Day 62- See ya lighter!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Mission Day 64

I just realized I only have 64 days left until my 30th birthday. Wow- and I still have 37 pounds to lose to hit my goal. I dont think its gonna happen. I can be really positive about it and say, I can do it!!!! But the truth is it's too much too fast. Thats like 5 pounds per week.  

At this point that isnt really a realistic goal. But I did say that if I hit 150 by my 30th birthday that I would be happy. So my new goal is 145 by my birthday.

In order to help myself along a bit I have made it my mission to write in this blog 1x every day for the next 64 days until my birthday. I promise to write down ever good, bad and ugly day for the next 8 weeks.

I am hoping that by keeping this "dairy"- even if its only 1 sentence per night, I may stay more faithful to my goal. So here we go... 64 days left... wont you join me? Cause I'm gonna need ALL the help I can get.

See you lighter tomorrow!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Blame it on Tom

I lost this week- weight for it...... weight for it.....    .2 pounds!!!!   

Wooopeee!!! Believe it or not Im actually happy about this little drop in the bucket. The first 5 days of this week I really did try. But the scale was not budging and overall I just felt bloated, no matter how hard I tried. I was tired and sluggish and definitely not motivated to do that much exercise. By Friday I was frustrated and pretty much not tracking. Then all the sudden I realized I'm fighting Mother Nature this week! So I decided I wasn't going to beat myself up. Luckily by the grace of the scale I managed to drop .2 - not much- but you know what, I will take it!  

And I thought I should tell you the gal I was irritated with in my WW class (you remember her, the one that almost hit the 100 pound mark) well, she hit it this week. And I was very happy for her. It was a reminder that even though this weight loss thing is extremely irritating sometimes there is an end in sight. We just have to wade past the Twinkles and Big Macs to find it...

Im sure I will do better this week maybe I will start now with a little walk-

See you lighter!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

I didnt tell you...

I celebrated my one year anniversary of WW on June 20. One year of attending classes- with minimal meeting-skips... I should have been proud of it but I wasn't...

I didn't tell you because it was bittersweet. I had lost 31 pounds this year, and gained 7-8 lbs. of it back in the last couple months. I didn't tell you because when I made the announcement I wanted it to be in a posting that I could celebrate- and I haven't wanted to celebrate weight loss for awhile now.

But today I can proudly say- I lost 4 pounds this week and I have been on Weight Watchers for 1 year... and 33 days .

How did I do it? I worked my ass off this week.... imagine that! I ate well, tracked my food, and exercised. And it worked!!! I lost weight!!!! Plus, I faced the fat: I stuffed my cute, fluffy thighs into my 3-sizes too small bathing suit and I went swimming.

So, what better way to kick off another great week, than to fill my fridge, and prepare for the next week.  Here's to a "healthy" fridge, a year (and 33days) on WW... AND next week's 4 pound loss! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

See you lighter!!! xo